ninthcouncil

Series 9, Episode 3 - "Thomas's Milkshake Muddle"
It is time for the big summer children's party on Sodor. Thomas is assigned the job of delivering milk to the ice cream factory, and collecting butter from the dairy for the cakes. He is told to go slowly with the milk, but ignores his instructions; by the time he gets to the ice cream factory the bumping around has thickened the milk and it is no use! He has to get some more, and the schedule for the party food is all out of kilter. Then Thomas has an idea - instead of going to get butter, he ships the spoilt milk to the baker instead, bumping it around as much as possible so it has turned to butter by the time he gets there. Thomas has saved the day.
Accident: No

Series 9, Episode 1 - "Percy and the Oil Painting"
Percy is to carry around a famous painter, dressed in caricature smock and beret with a curly moustache, who has been commissioned to produce a painting called "The Spirit of Sodor". Percy shows him lots of nice things, but the effete, jaded artist rejects them all. Eventually he claims there is nothing special on Sodor and he cannot find a topic for his painting. I am wondering a tthis point if the artists is some sort of scamster, who has been paid up front and will vanish without producing anything, but Percy gets upset and blows the artist's hat off with a puff of steam. The artist calls for Sir Topham Hatt and Percy thinks he will gt in trouble, but instead the artist announces he is going to paint Percy!
Accident: No

Series 9, Episode 7 - "Thomas and the Birthday Picnic"
The Fat Controller's mother has come to Sodor for her birthday and Sir Topham Hatt asks Thomas to carry them somewhere nice for a picnic. But the fields in the Shen Valley have been ploughed and the Hatts don't want to sit in the mud, while the Scottish Castle is closed for repairs. Lunchtime passes and Thmoas has not found anywhere suitable, and the annoyed Hatts get off - and Thomas steams off before they have a chance to take the birthday cake off! Thomas is unhappy about his failure, but listening to the other engines peeping at each other in the yards gives him an idea. The engines gather at Knapford station and play Mrs. Hatt "Happy Birthday" on their whistles as food and cake are served, and everyone is happy.
Accident: No

Analysis
Three days without mishap on the Sodor Railway! Yet some of the nagging peculiarities of Sodor are reestablished. The amount of milk and butter required for the children's party is staggering. Perhaps the population of Sodor is much higher than is normally apparent; hordes of feral children live in the tunnelled hills, their short lives an orgy of starved violence in the half-light, relieved only by the yearly "party", where they descend upon the piles of food to gorge themselves into unfamilar satiation.... And the life of the island seems to revolve around the trains to an extraordinary and unhealthy degree. Everything is delivered by train, and at the last moment - it seems as if backward Sodor has somehow developed modern concepts of "just in-time" logistics, even though it lacks the infrastructure to make these function effectively. Nor does it occur to Sir Topham Hatt to plan something for his mother's birthday himself - he delegates the task to a steam engine, as if he lacks some basic quality of human volition and must abandon himself to the machine intelligence. Sodor remains a most peculiar place.

Days: 19
Accidents: 12
Days Elapsed Since Accident: 3
Getting better!

We had builders around yesterday (leaky roof) and I didn't get to post, so a double header today. I've seen both these episodes before, some weeks ago, so it looks like Five's rotation has restarted.

Series 9, Episode 5 - "Molly's Special Special"
A new engine arrives on Sodor. Her name is Molly and she is a garish yellow, but she is feeling down because her first job is shifting empty trucks to the coal depot and she thinks the other engines will feel sorry for her. Thomas feels sorry for her, and "borrows" some tarpaulins to cover her empty trucks. He then spins a tale to the other engines about how Molly has a very special cargo, and as it gets dark he adorns her with lanterns. It all looks very impressive until a gust of wind blows off one of the tarpaulins, revealing Emily's lack of cargo, and she steams off in embarrassmnet to hide. The Fat Controller is angry because Molly's trucks have not been delivered and there is a backlog at the coal depot, and Thomas eventually finds her lurking in a siding. She is almost out of coal so Thomas helps her to deliver the trucks and everyone is happy. Molly discovers that you don't have to have special cargo to be a Really Useful Engine.
Accident: No

Analysis
A common pattern reasserts itself, in that there is no accident but Thomas nevertheless "causes confusion and delay" by acting like a complete berk. He also seems to be rather interested in Molly - do anthropomorphic engines have sex? Is Thomas trying to get his leg over? If so, how, seeing as he has no legs or any other apparent apparatus?

Series 9, Episode 4 - "Mighty Mac"
Another new engine! This time, it's on the narrow gauge railway, and Thomas is astonished by what he sees at the transfer yard - Mighty Mac is a double-boilered engine and has a face at both ends, one "Mighty" and one "Mac". But they are used only to shunting, and when the Thin Controller assigns them to haul a passenger carriage to the camping ground, they end up constantly arguing about which direction to take and give the holidaymakers a very bumpy ride. Eventually they get lost and end up in a dead end; the passengers get off but find they are not at the camp site. Meanwhile, the quarrelsome double engine gets into another argument which ends with one half pushing back so hard, that the carriage derails and causes a rockslike which blocks the track behind them. The holidaymakers lift the carriage back on the tracks and Mighty Mac, seeing how they achieve results by working together, patches up his internal argument and pushes the rocks off the track, before successfully finding his way to the campground.
Accident: Yes
Type: Derailment, Rockfall
Fault: Mighty Mac (75%), Thin Controller (25%)

Analysis
The Thin Controller is asking for trouble in selecting such an unsuitable, inexperienced engine for passenger work, and Mighty Mac's severe personality disorder soon manifests in chaotic behaviour. Serious injury to passengers is avoided only by good fortune and the situation is eventually resolved by the resourcefulness of the holidaymakers, rather than any action by Sodor railway staff or engines.

Additional Comment
Why does Sodor need so many new engines - Neville, Molly, and Mighty Mac have arrived within the space of 16 episodes? Since the existing engines seems to have plenty of time to wander around looking for eagles, rainbows and the like, the Fat and Thin Controllers might be better advised to introduce some discipline and efficiency on their networks, rather than getting clapped out and unsuitable stock from elsewhere. The multiplicity of apparently unused railway lines is puzzling, as well - the narrow gauge system seems to be a network of incomprehensible forks and dead ends. I'm forced to return to my speculation that the whole thing was built as some sort of make-work scheme by Sir Topham Hatt, perhaps to safeguard the quasi-feudal backwater that is Sodor against the agitation of unemployed farmworkers....

Days: 16
Accidents:12
Days Elapsed Since Last Accident: 0

Note: The title does not refer to the current prime minister.

Series 9, Episode 6 - "Respect for Gordon"
Gordon is the biggest, fastest, cleanest engine on Sodor and he pulls the express. However, his firebox makes loud noises as it cools down in the engine shed at night, and the other engines tease him, calling him "rattlebox" and saying he hauls the "Click Clunk Epress". When the teasing spreads to the diesels, Gordon becomes irate and demands the engines show him more respect by tooting deferentially to him whenever he passes. Of course they ignore him, and he gets so angry he misses a signal and collides with a stationary goods train carrying a cargo of jam. He is derailed and drenched in sticky conserve. The other engines line up to deride him as he is towed off to the fitter's yard to have the jam scraped out of his engine. While he is gone, the express is hauled by Henry or Emily, who find it hard work. The other engines realise they miss Gordon, while Gordon realises the other engines also deserve respect during his lengthy downtime.

Accident: Yes
Type: Signal passed at red, collision, derailment, humiliation and karmic retribution*
Fault: Gordon (100%)

Analysis
The accident is a straightforward SPAR caused by Gordon's lack of attention. "Fortunately, no-one was hurt," though Gordon requires lengthy repair, at least one truck is destroyed, and a quantity of cargo is lost in very messy fashion. Sodor Railways continues its sorry record, with an accident nearly every episode.

* If an engine ever gets too full of itself, there's always a truck full of jam or tar waiting just round the bend.....

Days: 14
Accidents: 11
Days Elapsed Since Accident: 0

I believe that I've seen this episode before, and I thought it didn't have an accident in it. It does, of course, showing how inured one rapidly becomes to the constant carnage on the rails of Sodor....

Series 9, Episode 2 - "Thomas and the Rainbow"
It's been a windy night on Sodor and the telephone lines are down. Thomas is assigned the job of carrying some telephone engineers to fix the downed lines, but he is distracted by the sight of a rainbow. He chases around trying to find its end, believing there iwll be amagical treasure there. He ignores those around him, even when they need his help. Eventually he runs into a fallen phone pole while his attention is distracted, and is derailed. "Fortunately, no-one was hurt." I think I've heard that one before.... Thomas whistles to try and get a nearby Percy's attention, but thinks that Percy has ignored him because of his previous selfish behaviour. In fact, Percy summons help by a tortuous word of mouth method involving two trains, Bertie the Bus and Harold the Helicopter, which luckily reaches Harvey the crane engine, who gets Thomas back on track. Thomas knuckles under to his task of delivering those pesky telephone engineers, and the lines are restored. When he gets back to Tidmouth, he finds that the rainbow's end is at the railway sheds, where the magical treasure is all his friends. Aaah.

Accident: Yes
Type: Derailment owing to object on line
Fault: Thomas (50%), Bad weather (50%)

Analysis
Whilst the derailment is caused by an object on the line, Thomas's inattention is a major contributory factor. His carelessness and lack of focus on his work significantly delays the re-establishment of telephone communications for the whole community. The methods used to communicate Thomas's accident to base are, even though successful, hopelessly unreliable and could have failed at a number of junctures, either by failure to pass on the message or introduction of incorrect information during transmission.

Days: 13
Accidents: 10
Days Elapsed Without Accident: 0

I've not done much on the Arnsberg front in the last couple of weeks. This is partly owing to other commitements, but also because I started working on something else, which I thought might be doable in a couple of days. That didn't quite work out, and I'm putting it aside for the time being, especially since it may be unpublishable (clue: it uses a trademarked property in ways that would no doubt displease the owners).

So, back to Arnsberg? Well, other than updating the coat of arms to use good Saxon red instead of Bavarian blue, perhaps not. I'm going to continue doing some background work on middle ages Saxony, just because it's interesting, but as a project this is going to have to go onto the back burner - the amount of research needed, given the background, is significant, and I need to concentrate on something a little more achievable in the medium term. I may post some stuff about Friedrich der Streitbare, though, as he's the madman who attracted me to Arnsberg in the first place.

In the short term, I need to sift through what other stuff I've already got in my head and on my disks, and settle on something which is achievable. I've generated enough incomplete projects over the last couple of years - I need to control my enthusiasm and get something done before moving on to the latest shiny toy narrative.

Visited Sainsbury's at Folkestone Park Farm on Friday and, what do you know, the Playmobil singles are back at the idiotic £2.99 price again. Obviously another fictitious "half price" offer is on its way.

At least Playmobil doesn't go off. Another "half price" deal which has excited my suspicion is Young's Jumbo Prawns at £2.99; this one seems to run every few weeks. I don't know which stores have had them on sale at £5.99, but they won't have been selling many. So Sainsbury's are deliberately encouraging stock wastage in order to set up a spurious offer. Not illegal, but definitely rather shabby.

Meh. Spent far to much time on the M11 yesterday, thanks to accidents at both Junctions 7 and 5. The journey from St. Ives to Walthamstow which should have taken 1 hour 40 mins took about over 3 hours, and I was late for dinner out.

EDIT: I've adopted the "Angry of Tonbridge Wells" persona and e-mailed Sainsbury's about their fake offers. We'll see how evasive their reply is - I'm not hopeful, since the practice appears to be thoroughly normalised at their stores.

No mishaps today. However, Thomas acts like an ass again, which seems to be the usual substitute for a disaster.

Series 9, Episode 24 - "Thomas and the Golden Eagle"

A Golden Eagle has been spotted on Sodor and bird watchers are flocking (ha!) to the island. Thomas and Percy both hope to be be given the job of taking them to Bluff's Cove to see the bird, but Emily gets the job. Thomas is hauling a long train of stone trucks from the quarry while Percy is delivering milk trucks to the dairy. Thomas persuades Percy to take half the stone to the docks while he goes to look at the eagle - Thomas will then haul Percy's milk trucks and the rest of the stone while Percy heads off to do some bird watching. But Thomas can't find the eagle and when Bertie the Bus tells him it's moved to Gordon's Hill, he forgets about the other half of his deal with Percy and heads off to look for the bird. Percy, realising that Thomas has not come back, also delivers the other half of the stone cargo, but runs out of coal before he can deliver the milk trucks. Thomas comes across him and, realising he's blown the chance of seeing the eagle today, takes the milk trucks to the dairy, then returns to help Percy to the coaling station - but on the way, they see not one but two eagles on the cliffs!

Accident: No

Analysis
No accidents, though Thomas's random wanderings about the island with no schedule and no means of communication must be a nightmare for the signalmen. Thomas's plan is very curious; it's obvious that Percy could perform his job easily and still have time to look for the eagle, so Thomas's suggestion benefits no-one but himself, even if he can be bothered to do his part of the work. Halfwitted Percy goes for it regardless.

Days: 12
Accidents: 9
Days elapsed since accident: 1

Some seasonal consistency, as it is still winter on Sodor. However, all the good work yesterday comes to nothing as the narrow gauge railway contrives to have two accidents in one episode...

Season 9, Episode 22 - "Skarloey the Brave"
Skarloey is enjoying hauling coal to his favourite mountain village. Waiting at the incline to collect his load, he is amused to see that Rheneas is scared of the incline, where trucks are winched up a steep hill to be loaded with coal before being winched down again for distribution. He boasts that he is the bravest engine on Sodor. Just then, a coupling breaks and a train of four coal trucks races down the hill towards Skarloey. He reverses away at full speed and switches onto another track - the trucks zoom past straight towards Rusty, but the diesel stands his ground and hoots loudly to alert the signalman. The trucks are diverted harmlessly into a siding. The Thin Controller praises Rusty's bravery, and Skarloey feels humiliated. Next day, to prove his bravery, he leaves himself coupled to the trucks being hauled up the incline, so that he is pulled up too. The other engines are impressed, but the extra weight causes the winch to break and Skarloey runs down the steep incline and out of control, just like the trucks the day before. He runs straight through the transfer yard, past an astonished Thomas, till he crashes into a snowdrift at the end of a siding. Mr Percival is very cross, as the winch must be repaired and till then, the mountain village will have no coal. Chastened, and despite the other engines egging him on to further acts of bravado, Skarloey is careful and responsible when he next picks up the coal, and the villagers cheer as their heating supplies are replenished.

Accident: Yes (2)
Type: (1) Trucks out of control (2) Engine out of control
Responsibility: (1) Sodor Coal (100%) (2) Skarloey (100%)

Analysis
The first incident is caused by the failure of a coupling. I'm going to be charitable and assume that the trucks are the property of the coal mine, so the coupling failure is down to their poor maintenance, not that of the railway. The second incident is caused by Skarloey's idiotic grandstanding in an attempt to recover his macho self-image, though it suggests considerable carelessness that no-one spots that he is still coupled up and halts the winch. Note also that the winch has broken twice in this series, suggesting a continuing problem with its upkeep (it is, I suppose, just about possible that we are seeing the same incident twice from different points of view, but that seems a rather advanced narrative technique for Thomas and Friends).

Further Comment
Once again, the size of a delivery seems out of proportion to the apparent market. The mountain village appears tiny (a few dozen inhabitants) and a single truck of coal would seem sufficient to supply its heating needs for a week or more. Yet, the day after receiving a four truck delivery, the inhabitants are apparently in danger of freezing if more coal is not supplied immediately, and they cheer as a further six trucks are brought up. Are they stockpiling unused coal as part of some scam? Or has Sodor been taken over by Maoists, who have imposed a primitive and inefficient blast furnace on this rural settlement as part of some misguided, "Great Leap Forward" type escapade? One imagines the villagers toiling in the mephitic glare of the furnaces, vainly attempting to fulfil their ridiculous production quotas. As the Maoists tighten their grip on Sodor, can it be long before Thomas and friends are forced to attend compulsory self-criticism meetings where they must own up to their failings, surrounded by a ring of baying diesels? Or, indeed, before the wretched mountain villagers are subjected to three bitter years of grinding famine?

There are terrible times ahead on Sodor.

Days: 11
Accidents: 9
Days elapsed since accident: 0

Hurrah! No accident, and not even any unsafe behaviour, even if Thomas is a bit of an ass today.

Series 9, Episode 15 - "Thomas and the Statue"
It is winter on Sodor and the Fat Controller announces to the engines that a sculpture representing the railways of Sodor is to be installed in the park. Thomas is to pick it up from the docks. It is still covered by a tarpaulin but Thmoas thinks to make out a familiar profile - is the statue of him? For the rest of the day he annoys the other engines telling them about "his" statue, until they don't want to talk to him any more. As the unveiling approaches, there is a heavy snowfall, and the Fat Controller fears that the engines won't be able to make it. Thomas, despite his aversion to carrying a snowplough, volunteers to clear the rails and the unveiling is able to go ahead as planned. But it's not a statue of Thomas - it's of all the main engines and the Fat Controller. Thomas realises he has been a bit of a prat and everything comes out OK.

Accident: No

Analysis
Nothing to say really - a day without even the threat of disaster on Sodor. Well done, chaps!

Days: 10
Accidents: 7
Days elapsed since accident: 1

Series 9, Episode 25 - "Keeping Up With James"
It is "Winter Holidays" once again on Sodor. After a heavy snowfall, the Fat Controller sends the engines out with snowploughs to clear the way, and promises that the most useful engine will haul the presents to the childrens' Christmas Winter Holiday party that evening. James the Red Engine is annoyed to be paired with slow old Edward, who he feels will hold him back and ruin his chances of getting the presents train. Disregarding Edward's pleas for caution, he goes faster and faster in the icy conditions until his wheels slip and he runs out of control down Gordon's Hill. He goes off into a snowdrift. The Fat Controller is angry and says that Edward, who is a sensible engine, can pull the presents, though he will need help. James grovels; promising to subordinate speed to safety and to take notice of Edward, he is allowed to act as the back-engine for the presents train.

Accident: Yes
Type: Derailment
Fault: James (100%)

Analysis
James uses excessive speed with a reckless disregard for track conditions and suffers the consequences. However, the Fat Controller is foolish to make an offer which his immature engines will interpret as requiring speed rather than caution, and compounds his error by failing to punish James, instead rewarding him for little more than a worthless promise and a display of toadying. Also, as James has been exhibiting his manic behaviour for several hours before the accident, it is disturbing that none of the human staff have thought it necessary to intervene.

Other Comments
Christmas seems to come more than once a year on Sodor, and it isn't just because Five are incapable of sticking to the original episode sequence. Again, a remarkable quantity of presents seems to be involved, given Sodor's limited population.

Days: 9
Accidents: 7
Days Elapsed Since Accident: 0

Series 9, Episode 18 - "Thomas's Day Off"
The Fat Controller announces the arrival of a new diesel engine, Dennis, and gives Thomas the day off for working very hard. On the way to have a washdown, Thomas meets Dennis who is having trouble with his trucks, and helps him shunt them. Thomas seems to have forgotten how much he hates diesels, but Dennis is about to remind him of why, because Dennis is a very lazy engine and wants someone else to do his work for him. When Thomas returns from his washdown, Dennis tries to trick him into pulling a load of tiles to repair the school roof, feigning a breakdown. When Thomas puffs off, saying only that he will try and get another engine to come and help, Dennis has a tantrum and reverses away from his trucks at high speed to hide, hoping someone else will take them. He comes off the rails and ends up in what seems to be a bit of boggy ground. A little while later Thomas finds him and pulls him out, then acts as his back-engine to get the tiles delivered. The Fat Controller berates Dennis for being such a lzy engine and Dennis promises not to be so selfish in future.

Accident: Yes
Type: Derailment
Responsibility: Dennis (100%)

Analysis
The incident stems entirely from Dennis's reprehensible behaviour - the Fat Controller has bought a pup here, I think - but it is very unclear as to how the derailment takes place. Dennis may be travelling at excessive speed, but the site of the accident doesn't have a particularly strong curve or any feature that would suggest it as a likely place for a derailment without other causes. No track inspection of any kind appears to be carried out, and the accident is clearly written off as "just one of those things", an attitude symptomatic of the feeble safety culture in place on Sodor Railways.

Other Comment
A mind-boggling quantity of tiles has been ordered to repair the school roof (a job which is apparently urgent, with the school closed till it is completed - the railway is not the only place where jobs are left undone till they become critical). It is reminiscent of the vast deliveries of toys in an earlier episode. I am beginning to wonder if there is some kind of organised, widespread fraud being perpetrated on Sodor. Is the island run by the Mafia?

Days: 8
Accidents: 6
Days Elapsed Since Accident: 0

I just realised that Google notes next to each link the last time I visited it (though, confusingly, this uses whichever Yanqui moon time Google live by). I assume this started when I registered (a couple of months ago for the purpose of using My Maps) but I only just noticed.

I'm getting old. The modern world is creeping me out. Also, why doesn't LiveJournal have "cantankerous" as a mood, and who the hell ever uses the word "exanimate"?

So, to distract attention from my increasing decrepitude, here's a funny video showing what happens if you park illegally in Barnes. (Hint: it's not the bus you're expecting it to be...)

Series 9, Episode 20- "Duncan and the Old Mine"

The focus switches to the narrow gauge system again. Duncan, who has been enjoying his job pulling holidays makers to Cullen Caves, is annoyed when the is transferred to hauling coal trucks with Rusty the diesel. Spotting a disused branch line he decides to have an adventure instead, against Rusty's advice, and breaks through the barrier to go exploring. The track disappears into the hillside - it is an old mine. But as Duncan goes in, his stack dislodges a support and the entrance collapses behind him, forcing him deeper in. Rusty is searching for him but Duncan is too far underground for his whistles to be heard. Eventually he realises that what he thought was a set of buffers blocking his way is a set of trucks, which he pushes through the boarded up exit on the other side of the mine. Not only is he safe, but he has found several truckloads of forgotten coal. Mr. Percival, the Thin Controller, is pleased at the extra coal but warns him not to be so foolish in future.

Accident: Yes
Type: Tunnel Collapse
Fault: Duncan (100%)

Analysis
Duncan is immature and petulant and ignores both his job, Rusty's davice and warning signs to get himself into serious trouble. The mine entrance itself is inadequately closed off, but the branch line is appropriately marked as shut and Duncan has no business using it.

Other Comment
Once again, the failure of the human staff to intervene in the engines' hare-brained schemes is lamentable. Duncan presumably has a driver, but he is conspicuous only by his absence from the narrative.
Furthermore, Sodor is already so dense with railways it is amazing that so many disused branch lines feature in the series. One wonders if the whole Sodor railway was some Victorian work creation scheme, like Williamson's Tunnels, shifting worthless freight around simply for the sake of giving employment.

Days: 7
Accidents: 5
Days Elapsed Since Accident: 0

Yesterday my son's primary school had an "international day" where the parents were encouraged to bring in national cuisine and the children sang songs etc. As you might imagine, the entertainment was not exactly to my taste - skinny Lithuanian girls from the secondary school practicing for their future careers as cruise ship entertainers was a particular highlight - but that's school for you. Dave was in demand for official photos, because he is the only unequivocally English kid in his class (thumbnail school composition: 40% South Asian, 20% Turkish, 15% Afro-Carribean, 10% Eastern European, 5% Roma; 28 nationalities, 49 first languages). Being blond and blue eyed is the icing on the cake.

Hold on, did I say "unequivocally" there? Hmm, let's just think about this; if we're going to get hung up on "blood", Dave is about 3/8 Irish, 1/8 Scottish, and 1/4 French. By standards of prejudice in operation until relatively recently, he's a foreigner. Up your ass Nick Griffin - London, that "non-British city" which you so dislike, has always been a magnet for the newly arrived, the East End particularly so - Hugenots, Jews, Bangladeshis, Poles, and onwards. It's the flipside of having been an Imperial city, and also of the fact that people all over the world seem to regard Britain as a place where you don't get mistreated. I'm sorry, Nick, but it's bugger all to do with some incomprehensible conspiracy to miscegenate Britian - people seem, bizarrely, to like us.

I don't have a problem with Dave being at such a mixed school. There are problems associated with schools in rough urban areas with mixed populations, but I don't think those really kick in till the kids are bit older, and by that time we probably won't be in London. In fact, I think that spending his early years in such a mixed environment will do him good, rather than the other way round.

The relative calm continues on Sodor (though, for all I know, the day I missed may have involved careless cargo handling, equipment malfunctions and reckless driving combining to produce a BLEVE that incinerated most of Tidmouth). Seems we've stabilised on Series 9 since I started, though the running order remains semi-random.

Series 9, Episode 13: "Thomas Tries His Best"
There is a fair on the island, and Thomas looks forward to seeing the happy children (Thomas seems rather fixated on children - these days, that might be taken as a danger signal of some kind). That afternoon, he is told to collect Farmer McColl's chickens at Dryaw station and deliver them to the docks, but Farmer McColl's truck gets a puncture and does not turn up on time. Thomas is worried about missing the fair so, prompted by James, decides to go there and then come back for the chickens. However, he has second thoughts when he imagines how cross the Fat Controller will be if he he isn't there when the chickens arrive, and goes back to Dryaw. When the chickens arrive, Thomas is stung by envy of Gordon the express engine into travelling too fast; the chickens get agitated and he has to slow down.

By the time Thomas has completed his delivery it is very late and he thinks he has missed a chance to go to the fair. But no! The generator has broken down at the fairground and Thomas is assigned the task of carrying a spare from the docks. Thomas saves the day and the children get their rides.

Accident: No

Analysis
Another accident free day on Sodor. However, Thomas's decision to reverse back down the tracks to Dryaw station is terrifyingly reckless, since there seems to be no way of communicating his intent to the signalmen, who might release a train into his sector unaware that the little blue engine is steaming backwards down the line....

Days: 6
Accidents: 4
Days elapsed since accident: 3

A difficult one this. Technically, there is no accident today, but one occurs off-screen and there is considerable potential for another. I'm going to be charitable and chalk this off as another accident-free day, but Sodor Railways are teetering on the brink....

Season 9, Episode 9: "Thomas and the Toyshop"
The toyshop is planning a Grand Opening for the "winter holidays" (mmm, a bit PC there) and Thomas carries freight trucks full of toys from the toy factory. He expects to be given the job of carrying the children to the Grand Opening, but is disappointed when this is assigned Emily instead, whilst Henry will carry the last cargo of toys (hours before opening - cutting it a bit fine there, aren't they?). However, Emily breaks down and Thomas is reassigned the job. As he heads out of the docks he finds Henry, stuck behind a broken cargo container which Cranky has dropped. Thomas offers to collect the cargo as well, though Henry advises him that he is not powerful enough to pull both the freight trucks and passenger carriages. Thomas ignores him. As he heads up Gordon's Hill pulling both the cargo of toys and two empty pasenger carriages, he fails to make the crest of the hill and slides backwards down to the bottom. Henry arrives, and takes the cargo trucks from Thmoas, who then picks up the children and delivers them to the Grand Opening.

Accident: No, but...
Type: Engine running out of control

Analysis
Thomas, through vanity, attempts to haul a load beyond his capabilities. Not only does he have insufficient power to haul the train uphill, but he lacks the braking capacity to arrest it when it slides back down. Fortunately there is no other engine following behind, as Thomas is at this point out of control on a steep incline (cf. San Bernadino train disaster). There has also been an accident (off-screen) at the dockyard, once more owing to sloppy cargo handling and/or poor equipment maintenance. Though no great harm eventually comes of these incidents, they point once again to a shoody safety regime both at the railways and at the harbour.

Additional Comment
The toyshop (puzzlingly located at the end of the line, only a few feet from the buffers), in the run up to its Grand Opening for the Christmas Winter Holidays, has delivered to it a truly astonishing amount of freight, considering its small size and the apparently light population of the Island of Sodor. Thomas looks forward to seeing the children's "happy smiling faces", but in my mind's eye, I see instead a mob of inflamed ghouls, rictus grins etched on their savage, drool encrusted visages, as they rampage through the toyshop, seizing and devouring anything they can lay their hands upon, trampling each other underfoot in bloody explosion of consumerist lust... Ahem. I might be getting carried away there.

Days: 5
Accidents: 4
Days Elapsed Without Accident: 2

Probably no ThomasWatch tomorrow; I have to leave the house early and will be busy most of the day, so it's unlikely I will get to see the episode.

The Counts of Arnsberg descended from Hermann I von Werl, Count of Westphalia, who died in 988; possible prior antecendents have been identified but cannot be confirmed. Hermann had carved out substantial territories in northern Germany and become one of the most influential regional magnates. His powerful position merited a prestigious marriage to Gerberda, daughter of the King of Burgundy, Konrad III.

Gerberda and Hermann produced three sons, Hermann II, Ludolf (or Rudolf) and Bernhard I. It is also worth noting that after his death, Gerberda remarried and had further children by her new husband, Duke Hermann of Swabia, one of whom, Gisela, would become the consort of Emperor Konrad II. Under Salic Law, the existence of multiple male heirs entailed a division of the territory.

Of the three sons, Hermann II (d. 1024) inherited southern Westphalia, including the family seat at Werl (some way north of Arnsberg, but still found on the Blaeu map posted below); Bernhard founded the line of the Counts of Hoevel, later subsumed into the Counts of Berg. Ludolf was to die without issue.

Hermann II had an eventful reign. After coming into conflict with the Bishop of Munster, he was captured by Munster's Vogt*, Udo von Katlenburg and stripped of the post of Vogt of Liesborn by an Imperial court. Once released, he took part in a noble rebellion against the church-friendly policies of Emperor Heinrich II and also got into further conflicts over advocacy rights, this time with the Archbishop of Cologne. Nevertheless, he remained a powerful figure, and was regarded as second in regional precedence only to the Duke of Saxony. Awarded the Vogtship of Werden, he was accused of excessive interference by the abbott; as part of the settelment of this dispute, he gained possession of Arnsberg, which would ultimately become the family seat.

Hermann II also had more than one son, but Bernhard II (d. 1066) became dominant over his brothers [I'm not quite clear about the mechanics of this, given the Salic laws, and need to do a bit more research on the subject]. He was responsible for the construction of the first castle at Arnsberg, but initially took a rather peripheral role in court politics, particularly after failing to win Imperial support in a dispute with the Bishop of Osnabruck. After the accession of a new emperor, Heinrich II (in 1056), things improved somewhat, and Bernhard lent his support to the Emperor's actions in n orth Germany. However, in 1062 he refused an Imperial directive to cede Emsgau to the Bishop of Bremen and militarily defeated Bremen's forces - the territory would remain in Werl hands for another 30 years.

Bernhard again had multiple children. The southern and eastern parts of the family lands went to Konrad II (d. 1092), who henceforth styled himself Werl-Arnsberg. Another son, Heinrich II, entered holy orders and eventually (1084) became Bishop of Paderborn. Ludolf (or Luitpold) followed the example of his eponymous great-uncle, dying without issue, but, rather than leave his territories to family members and thus reunite the lands, willed them instead to the Archbishop of Cologne, giving the diocese an important foothold in Westphalia [it might be speculated that this indicated some bad blood between the brothers]. This included the former centre of power at Werl, provoking a transfer of the seat to Arnsberg.

Konrad's position during the revolt of Saxon nobility against Emperor Heinrich IV is unclear, but by the time of the Investiture Controversy (a serious breach between the Emperor and the Pope, beginning in 1075) he was solidly in the Imperial camp, took part in the Emperor's Italian campaigns between 1081 and 1084, and was present at Heinrich's coronation in Rome. Subsequently, he became embroiled in campaigns in the Low Countries against the Frisians, and it was during this conflict that both Konrad and his eldest son, Bernhard, were killed, leaving the inheritance to Friedrich I and Heinrich. Since Friedrich I is the first of the Werl-Arnsberg line in whom I'm interested as a potential subject for detailed attention, that seems a good point at which to break....

* Vogt: from Latin, advocatus, the temporal governor of a church holding. Such positions were powerful and lucrative, and often became hereditary within a noble family. They were also often abused by their holders.

Series 9, Episode 14: "The Magic Lamp"

Break out the bunting, folks - a day without accident on the railways of Sodor! Still, it required a switch to the narrow guage system to achieve this milestone, with only a brief cameo from Thomas. The winching gear that pulls the narrow guage engines up the steep hill to collect coal has broken down, so Thomas delievers the replacement parts to the transfer yard. It is a foggy night but the parts are urgent, so Peter Sam will deliver them in the dark. Whole Peter Sam is loading up, Skarloey tells a story about the Magic Lamp of an old engine called Proteus, which grants an engine's wishes. Peter Sam dismisses this as tosh, but as he drives to the incline, Peter Sam keeps experiencing elements of the story. Spooked, he misses his turning and gets lost. Eventually, he comes across Harold the Helicopter, who guides him back on track, and Peter Sam realises that even if the story isn't true, sometimes an engine's wishes come true anyway. Aaah.

Accident: No

Analysis
There must nevertheless be some concern about the operation of points on the narrow guage railway, given that Peter Sam was directed along the wrong line. In the dark and fog, this could have caused an accident had the tracks not been clear.

Days: 4
Accidents: 4
Elapsed days without accident: 1

I don't know how Five select the running order - it isn't following the sequence of episodes, or even remaining within one series. Anyway, another couple of days of relatively safe running, and the inhabitants of Sodor may be able to come out of their bunkers!

Thanks to the magic of Milkshake! (Wot-Wots' animal of the day: snail) we have some further data to report. It's not as spectacular as the last couple of days, but there are  two incidents for the price of one.

Series 9, Episode 19: "Thomas's New Trucks"
Percy, a sneering, vainglorious engine, derides Thomas for having old trucks. When Thomas gets new ones, he boasts to Percy about how clean they are. However, the naughty trucks deliberately get dirty, to Percy's amusement, and Thomas decides that he will avoid dirtying the new trucks by using the old ones next day, only substituting the shiny new ones later. But a rusty coupling breaks while he is hauling coal; Thomas overbrakes in attempting to control the free-wheeling trucks and they crash into his tender, scattering coal all over the tracks (Incident #1). Thomas has to go back to get his new trucks and the cargo is transferred to them. At the docks, Percy belittles Thomas for his dirty new trucks, but Percy's own trucks are troublesome, and they shuffle him around such that when a cable breaks as Cranky the Crane is loading cargo, a crate of melons falls onto Percy, humiliatingly covering him in sticky goo (Incident #2).

Analysis
Incident #1: Though the immediate cause of the accident is that Thomas, through vanity, uses inappropriate rolling stock, the fact that the old trucks suffer a serious failure so soon after their supposed replacement shows that the Fat Controller had allowed the railway's stock to reach a state of dangerous decrepitude. Thomas's inept braking should also be noted.
Accident: Yes
Type: Coupling failure, out of control freight trucks, collision
Responsibility: Thomas (75%), Fat Controller (25%)

Incident #2: This is entirely caused by poor maintenance of dockyard equipment. Percy's lack of control of his trucks is lamentable and causes personal embarassment, but does not contriubute to the incident.
Accident: Yes
Type: Crane malfunction, loss of cargo
Responsibility: Sodor Docks (100%)

Days: 3
Accidents: 4
Elapsed Days Since Last Accident: 0

Additional comment
a) It may be seen that, in the world of Thomas, new things are always a threat. Diesels are regarded with hatred and constantly portrayed as conniving and untrustworthy, but even new steam engines (see the reception given to Neville on day 1) are treated with suspicion by the established crew. New trucks also are always troublesome. The world of Thomas is one of neophobia and paranoia, where only old solutions can be trusted and the unfamilar must be fought tooth and nail. Sodor = Daily Mail Island?
b) The employment of anthropomorphic rolling stock introduces safety hazards which are not properly accounted for in the operational procedures of Sodor Raliways. Whilst it might be thought that self aware engines might contribute to safety, it is clear that Sodor Railways have failed to establish a proper chain of command and responsibility which accounts for the element of rolling stock volition. The engines appear immature and emotionally unstable, whilst the human staff seem to have abnegated responsibility in the face of their anthropomorphic charges. It is a recipe for disaster, and disaster seems always imminent on Sodor. For further analysis, see Ruston, "Thomas and Friends?: Safety Challenges in the Operation of Anthropomorphic Rolling Stock", British Journal of Pretension and Unneccessary Analysis, Special Issue No.2 - The Hermaneutics of Cartoon Safety (2009)*.

* This journal may not, in fact, exist. If it did, I would also recomment Streeb-Greebling's excellent article "Groundhog Dog: Acme Products and the Iterative Downfall of Wile E. Coyote" from the same issue.

If you missed "The Secret Life of the Berlin Wall" on BBC2 yesterday, I thoroughly recommend it. Well narrated by someone who sounded a bit like Sean Bean but wasn't, it nevertheless focussed strongly on personal testimony by those affected by (or, in some cases, effecting) the apparatus of repression in the former East Germany. Bizarrely, but ultimately effectively, several of these were former circus performers, including a handsome and surprisingly dignified female clown. The ex-Stasi man was (inevitably) creepy - avuncular and largely unrepentant, but with a smile that had the opposite effect to what was intended. Interestingly, the two guys who had been involved in organising the final protests that cracked open the regime were a bit scary as well - one incomprehensibly cryptic and hidden behind a giant beard, the other worryingly steely and gimlet eyed. It was interesting to recall the critical role that the churches had in the resistance as well, not only in Germany (Pastor  Laszlo Tokes in Romania springs also to mind), supplying not only a crucial non-state space but a source of moral authority independent of and ultimately inimical to Marxist-Leninist totalitarianism. It's not all Jerry Falwell and Panzerpope, any more than atheism is all Richard bloody Dawkins and his militant materialism.

Catch it on BBC iPlayer while you can.